Monday, June 04, 2007

The power of strawberries

Last night, at the end of a long and extraordinary week of running an event in the city centre, something happened to me that hasn't happened for quite a while. I had a panic attack. If you've ever been victim of a panic attack I won't try to remind you how awful they are. And if you're lucky enough not to be bothered by these waking nightmares but are a bit intrigued you can get the vibe by reading one of my previous posts on fear. I'm prone to a particular variety of attack known as an existential crisis - or more simply put - going eyeball to eyeball with death. Sounds like fun eh!
Anyway, the fact that the crisis happened (strangely triggered by a scene at the end of Doctor Who!) is not the point here. I'm writing because of the unique way I got out of it. After an attack I tend to be left with a residual creepy feeling for several hours or even longer. However, about twenty minutes after last night's judder I quite innocently opened the door to the fridge sniffing around for some comfort food. I took out a punnet of strawberries and took a bite. Wow! Total unexpected ecstasy! The intense freshness and flavour provoked not only a physical but also a psychological response. I suddenly found myself absolutely convinced that if I was really standing in my kitchen with my tongue drooling over the cool sweetness of a fresh fruit then that in itself is evidence enough that anything is possible... God, eternal life, strawberry fields forever, why not?

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1 comment:

rebekah fox said...

That is genuinely the most intriguing and honest post i have read in a long time. Possibly it interests me most because i have, in the past, had the occassional panic attack, and you did just make me remember how they are possibly one of the worst things to endure. Anyway, i love the fact that strawberrys were the way out in this case. I suppose, why shouldn't they be?! What you write about them is very true!.. and it has actually had the power to awaken me from my present sleepy state too! How strange, but also good! Anyway, i hope that you don't mind me reading your blog now and again. becky